We are so excited for baby no. 2! But just because this is the second go-around does not mean there is no initial shock, excitement, or even fear. I would say the only difference when I found out the second time was that it hit me extremely slow, whereas the first time hit me like a semi-truck.
Some of my first-thoughts when I found out I was pregnant again were:
- Can I love another baby as much as I love my first?
- Will it be a boy or a girl? Which gender would be preferable? Am I allowed to have a preference?
- I definitely want a girl. I haven’t had a girl yet. It has to be a girl. What if I never have a daughter?
- My vision of my sisters wedding and my trip to visit family for the 4th of July has officially been altered…Goodbye my sweet champagne…wine…and cosmos.
- Oh Starbucks, how I will miss you. But how much money I will save.
Some of these thoughts may be offensive or shocking for others. But I’d like to think that most of us go through these same thoughts the moment we find out we’re pregnant. I felt a sense of guilt that my concerns were loving the baby, the gender, and the fact that I couldn’t drink at my sister’s wedding. But at the same time, babies are life changing…and a women’s life alters completely the instant the see a positive result. In fact, even your body was changing a few weeks before then!
But what I learned now that I am 22 weeks pregnant is this, every mom is scared that they wont love their next as much as their first. That is not a thought to be ashamed of. In fact, thinking that way means you already care, and that’s a great thing. But what we don’t realize is the capacity our heart has to love. And the moment that baby is laid onto your chest, your heart will absorb every part of the baby like it did the first. As far as gender, its already decided. And I can promise you that it will grow on you, even if it isn’t what you imagined. As for the glasses of wine, champagne, and coffee. How great those will taste while staring at you two beautiful children in less than a year…For now, be patient and enjoy the process. Not every women gets this experience – something to keep in mind!